After my rather self-pitying post, I received the following comment from Kamela, a reader. I reproduce it here because it was the kick in the butt that I desperately needed, and because I want to thank her for reading and responding to me. It means a great deal to someone who feels like sleeping all day. Here it is:
“I don’t remember how I came into contact with your blog but I have to say that the content here is always deeply engaging. Yet, I never knew anything about the reality TV show auditions and calls from producers. I just knew that what you posted here was truly interesting.
I suppose the first thing I would want to tell you is to find a new angle on how to repackage your interest. You have something that people are interested in. It’s just the adult thing to realize that you need to refine your interests and engage your audience. You have somehow missed connecting your ideas to your prime audience. You don’t need a producer to package it for you! You can package your ideas and opinions together into a book, for example. The evidence that your interests are engaging to a broad public become evident when you look at the success of books like “Proof of Life.” I bought my copy at Costco and loved it.
Another idea might be to create digital content that can stream world-wide. Digital is the future. Directors like the guy who did Garden State to Spike Lee are now turning away from Hollywood and are crowdsourcing movies on KickStarter-etc.. These are just a few ideas that you could explore.
Perhaps, taking some time to heal, might be the way in which you will find the new perspective that will swing you out of your rut. Of course, I don’t understand the full story of what you’re going through. But, I can tell from this post alone, that you have had life kick you hard and when your were down. Time to stand up and fight back. You are breathing! Things aren’t over. The loss of your home and at a terrible price isn’t going to stop you from shining forward-unless you want it to be your end. Spending lots of time in church is a good place to start but let it not be a place to hide while you are still here, breathing, with the rest of us. Stand up and prepare to fight for what is important to you.
More importantly, my husband’s lifelong neighbour died two weeks ago. It hit the community hard. He was a fireman that was loved by his family, friends, and colleagues. My mother in-law went over and cleared the snow from their driveway, after the holidays were over, then knocked on her neighbor’s door to give the Christmas gift she had bought for them before he had passed away.
His remaining wife was appreciative as would be expected. It was then that she told my mother-in-law that her husband said two things before he died. The first thing he said was:
“There are so many people waiting for me to join them.”
And then his final words were:
“I can see it. I can see the light.”
I’ve heard of stories like that my whole life. They are stories that are so common that its hard to believe.
Yet, when my mother-in-law told me, and I was never close to these people, I felt tears rise up because I knew that the words he spoke were true.
So instead of being hateful that life has dealt you hard blows or getting trapped in playing that victim mentality that could seriously squander away years of your life, try this instead: Forgive yourself. Let it go so that you open your heart up to all the possibilities and share what is meaningful to you.
Keep believing. Keep shining. Keep exploring. Keep having joy to follow the passions that have always given you faith.
Okay-that was the longest comment ever! Good luck!”
That comment was a God send. I cry every time I read it. Thank you, Kamela, for pulling me out of the pit.
–Kirsten A. Thorne, PhD/PHW