Archive for May, 2014

Kir with Bangs May 2014

The other night, I found myself (as I do so many nights, alas) stuffing yet another box with the various and sundry items my husband and I collect from every antique store within 40 miles of us, when I heard my better half open the door from the garage to the hallway, clomp down said hallway (he is not light of foot, I fear) and drop his keys into the metal tray where he keeps spare change, small knives, keys and unidentified, tiny objects.

So, of course, I scamper down the hallway to greet him with my usual enthusiasm, borne of too many hours alone in this gigantic house. I head into the bedroom. He is not there. I check the bathroom, the closet (why he would be hiding in the closet is beyond me) and the outside patio and workshop. Nobody has returned home. About 1/2 hour later, I hear the door open from the garage, Ty’s heavy feet walking down the hallway, the clang of his keys landing in the metal tray . . . and this time, when I run in to see if this is actually my husband (with some real trepidation, I must confess), there his is, loosening his tie and looking tired.

What happened?

I don’t know. Why I would hear a preview of my husband returning home about 30 minutes before the actual event seems illogical and nonsensical in the extreme. I was not expecting him to return earlier than he did, therefore I doubt this was a hallucination created by my desires or expectations. Also, the cats and bird heard these sounds as well, since Gracie started screaming and Bingo hid under the chair. Nod’s ears twirled around, picking up the domestic sounds she hears everyday, but still appear to disconcert her.

I’m afraid that the woman of many words has none to explain this phenomenon. If someone has a decent theory, please elucidate it so that I may post it here. I suspect this has something to do with time slips, which would require a time-travel or multiverse theory to explain it. Time as a concept fascinates me, since it appears to be entirely artificial, a human construction that allows us the illusions we require to maintain our sanity. Some of the current theories in quantum physics posit all events happening concurrently, which only appear to be ordered chronologically to accommodate our poor, mammalian brains. Therefore, if I can follow my own logic, there was a slip or glitch in my perception of chronology; for a moment, the universe presented itself as it really is, a timeless space where all things are happening simultaneously. It’s as if reality, for a brief moment, allowed an event to occur out of biological time. All the creatures in the house perceived something that wasn’t supposed to happen for us until 30 minutes later.

Now that I’ve talked myself into complete confusion, I do so welcome your comments.

With much affection,

Kirsten A. Thorne, PhD
Rank amateur explorer of reality

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Kitty Too Green

I have been possessed three times that I can remember. Why do I choose the term “possessed?” Simply because it best explains, describes and interprets my experience.
The first time, I was in Scotland in August of 2003. My husband (boyfriend, at the time) and I were staying at a castle with a long, checkered history of violence, war, domestic abuse and rape (does this, perchance, describe the history of most castles in Europe?). We were staying in a room straight out of Medieval Scotland, where they had taken pains to preserve the ambiance of the time. There was an enormous stone fireplace facing the canopy bed, and tiny windows looking out over the grounds. The walls were of stone many feet thick, so that we were well protected from cannon ball blasts and other instruments of 12th century combat.
That night, I was thoroughly exhausted from the miles of walking around the city and the time change from California. My husband was filled with adrenaline and enthusiasm, so he opted for the midnight tour of the castle, replete with history lessons and ghost stories. Before the tour, we knew nothing of the stories associated with the castle. I was happy to fall asleep in peace, knowing that my mate was occupied in learning the Things We Were Supposed to Know about our castle. Everything becomes confusing at this point; I vaguely remember fighting off my husband at some point between midnight and 4 AM. I heard myself yelling at him to stop pulling my hair, and I remember how angry I was. My emotions felt entirely foreign to me, as if I were acting out someone else’s drama. As it turns out, I was.
One of the stories Ty had heard while on tour was about the maid that lived in our room, who also happened to be the mistress of the prince. She had committed the unpardonable sin of becoming pregnant; thereby jeopardizing his good name and potentially bring into the family an assertive and property hungry bastard. Instead of handling this in a more humane manner, he decided one night to burn her alive in the very same fireplace that faced our canopy bed. He “dragged her by the hair from her bed, where she had been fast asleep, and pushed her forcibly into the fireplace”. The next morning, Ty told me her story and recounted for me my battles with him the night before.
It’s a frightening experience, feeling that someone else is trying to control your mind and body. I don’t wish to discuss here again the details of the attempted possession by some rotten hag who followed me from Camarillo—that is detailed elsewhere on this site. So allow me to skip to the most recent incident, one which occurred last night. I do suffer from panic attacks, and many might think that what I am about to relay is simply that; however, there are some key differences between a panic attack and an attempt at possession or a ‘borrowing’ of your body and mind as a vessel. Around 1:00, I was sure that I had lost the ability to breathe. That is a hallmark of the panic attack; once I figured that out, something else happened. I simply could not remember who I was, or where I found myself. Everything in the room looked utterly foreign. I felt that I was engaged in a battle to remember myself. I kept reciting the names of my cats, my family members, my daily routine, in a desperate bid to stop something from happening that was clearly in process. At one point, I yelled out “MY PARENTS DON’T LOVE ME”, and I was about to lose consciousness right after I said it. I remember forcefully kicking out whoever was expressing that terrible sentiment and gradually returning to myself through prayer.
So, there you have it. It felt like a child or a teenager had invaded my too open mind to express something that the world needed to hear. Once again, this did not “feel” like me, not even some subconscious part of me that needs addressing. I am fairly good about incorporating my conscious and semiconscious aspects into one whole, albeit damaged, personality. Of course, no mental health professional will EVER believe that I could have been possessed. For them, everything boils down to unconscious processes that I can’t possibly understand on a conscious level, because, well . . . that’s the definition of ‘unconscious’.
There are some curious aspects to my possession incidents that are not explained by the unconscious mind, as far as I am concerned: the feeling that I am not ‘me’ and that my surroundings are foreign, belonging to someone else; the sentences that I utter come flying out unbidden and unrelated to anything I am feeling or thinking about; the sense that I am battling for control of my mind, my utterances and my thought process. It is this last aspect that is peculiarly terrifying and strange. I have plenty of panic attacks and anxiety issues without the features mentioned above. In fact, these episodes stand out so clearly because I have so many emotional states to compare them to. They are struggles between Kirsten and whoever wishes to use Kirsten to express his/her anguish. I am something of a control freak, and I really do not wish to be someone who channels spirits. I’m so afraid that one of them will decide to take up permanent residence.
I have nothing else to add here except to say that I am continually shocked at the power and reality of the spirit world. I started out as an investigator thinking that the best I would find of the so-called Other Side would be a couple vague voices on audio or a chill here and there from a scary place, but I never, ever, ever anticipated the sheer, overwhelming presence and invasion of the invisible world. I may not SEE those in spirit, but every other sense picks them up with such regularity that the challenge is no longer to find them, but to keep them at bay!
I would most appreciate any feedback you might have regarding possession by spirits. I need to hear from others who know what I am talking about.
Sincerely, as always,
–Kirsten A. Thorne, PhD

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Me all hip

I think I’ll do the Oprah thing and continue posting pictures of myself to consolidate my tremendous fame.

First of all, I want to assure Patrick, who commented below, that I am not a terrible whiner about people not listening to anomalous audio clips, and I’m sorry that I came off that way! I understand that paranormal audio is tricky, and can be interpreted differently depending upon who is listening. In the case of my personal EVP session in my home, I controlled the situation well so no aural artifacts interfered with the recording; also, after hundreds of hours of listening to stomachs, weird house noises, stray pet sounds, other people’s breathing and mumbling, I have developed a very good ear for paranormal sounds/voices. I feel confident in the clips I posted, because I know that I have learned over time to discard the random noises around me that interfere with recordings. I also know that true EVP share certain characteristics. There is a certain rhythm and pattern to the intonations, an almost otherworldly quality to them, that distinguish them from the pings, knocks and sighs from this world.

BUT . . . I am not writing to convince anyone that what I recorded was genuine spirit communication. If you’re inclined to believe that that is either impossible or that most people think a rumbling tummy is Satan’s moans from Hell (and sometimes, it is), then you won’t believe that someone invisible in my house told me to get out. It’s enough that I know that someone in my house told me to get out. The question is, do I listen?

In any case, most–emphatically NOT all–investigators are not terribly interested in the data that other teams produce. This is obvious to anyone in the field who follows teams or individuals who study the paranormal. This is due to a couple of factors: competition and a lack of respect for other teams’ skills, education, and authority in the field. Sadly, so many of us are busy securing the Ideal Location, writing the Ultimate Post, or chasing reality television. I include myself in all those categories. I wish that I worried less about my public image and compelling people to believe in the afterlife; however, I have this need to prove to the world that the data I am collecting is REAL, not a misinterpretation, a fantasy, an invention or a misguided attempt to make myself feel better about my (our) impending physical death.

Over time, I have discovered that I can’t convince most people about the reality of continuation of consciousness. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: a ghost could walk up to you, explain the workings of the afterlife, disappear, reappear, and rearrange all your furniture with a wave of his hand right before Jesus shows up to take him to dinner, and STILL MOST PEOPLE WOULD NOT BELIEVE IT. There is nothing I can present to an audience that involves their five or six senses that might convince them of the reality of the next life. Therefore, we are working with faith, intuition, parapsychology and anomalous ways of knowing.

That’s it for now. Jesus has been waiting for me to have tea with Him for the last 45 minutes. I appreciate His patience. We’re going to Starbucks, because no one ever recognizes Him there; in fact, He says, mostly nobody pays attention anywhere. We’ll be left alone.

–Kirsten A. Thorne, PhD

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KIRSTEN for blog

I hope that Rob Wlodarski will not mind me quoting him, but he advanced such an interesting notion on a Facebook EVP post that I simply had to comment on it.

All investigators know how frustrating it is to listen to EVP that others have captured. Often, people have multiple interpretations of what the voice is saying. Sometimes, those we most wish would validate what we have captured on audio hear nothing out of the ordinary. This can seriously affect friendships, team relationships and even marriages! My husband and I have fought more than once over what I thought was an exceptionally clear, class ‘A’ EVP, and he thought was non-existent. You feel as if your reality is being questioned or confronted, and it almost feels as if someone where indirectly accusing you of losing your mind.

The EVP from my previous post generated no responses. Not one. That is not, I believe, because no one listened to them, but because those that did simply did not hear what I did. Or, maybe I’m wrong, and no one listened to them because most investigators are sick to death of listening to other people’s EVP clips. In any case, Rob’s assertion that EVP clips have multiple interpretations because the entity or spirit communicating is attempting to send a message to the person actually soliciting the interaction makes perfect sense. If you are directly asking for communication, then you will receive a response–but that response is targeted to you, to your ears, to your aural reality, not someone else’s. Therefore, you should truly accept the message as intended for you if you asked for it and received an answer.

I don’t think we need to so desperately rely on others to validate our reality. That is the real message here: be grateful that a spirit fulfilled your request for an answer, and don’t ruin the moment by arguing with others over the objective reality of what was stated.

Thank you, Rob, for that insight. It has given me much to ponder.

–Kirsten A. Thorne, PhD

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