I think I’ll do the Oprah thing and continue posting pictures of myself to consolidate my tremendous fame.
First of all, I want to assure Patrick, who commented below, that I am not a terrible whiner about people not listening to anomalous audio clips, and I’m sorry that I came off that way! I understand that paranormal audio is tricky, and can be interpreted differently depending upon who is listening. In the case of my personal EVP session in my home, I controlled the situation well so no aural artifacts interfered with the recording; also, after hundreds of hours of listening to stomachs, weird house noises, stray pet sounds, other people’s breathing and mumbling, I have developed a very good ear for paranormal sounds/voices. I feel confident in the clips I posted, because I know that I have learned over time to discard the random noises around me that interfere with recordings. I also know that true EVP share certain characteristics. There is a certain rhythm and pattern to the intonations, an almost otherworldly quality to them, that distinguish them from the pings, knocks and sighs from this world.
BUT . . . I am not writing to convince anyone that what I recorded was genuine spirit communication. If you’re inclined to believe that that is either impossible or that most people think a rumbling tummy is Satan’s moans from Hell (and sometimes, it is), then you won’t believe that someone invisible in my house told me to get out. It’s enough that I know that someone in my house told me to get out. The question is, do I listen?
In any case, most–emphatically NOT all–investigators are not terribly interested in the data that other teams produce. This is obvious to anyone in the field who follows teams or individuals who study the paranormal. This is due to a couple of factors: competition and a lack of respect for other teams’ skills, education, and authority in the field. Sadly, so many of us are busy securing the Ideal Location, writing the Ultimate Post, or chasing reality television. I include myself in all those categories. I wish that I worried less about my public image and compelling people to believe in the afterlife; however, I have this need to prove to the world that the data I am collecting is REAL, not a misinterpretation, a fantasy, an invention or a misguided attempt to make myself feel better about my (our) impending physical death.
Over time, I have discovered that I can’t convince most people about the reality of continuation of consciousness. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: a ghost could walk up to you, explain the workings of the afterlife, disappear, reappear, and rearrange all your furniture with a wave of his hand right before Jesus shows up to take him to dinner, and STILL MOST PEOPLE WOULD NOT BELIEVE IT. There is nothing I can present to an audience that involves their five or six senses that might convince them of the reality of the next life. Therefore, we are working with faith, intuition, parapsychology and anomalous ways of knowing.
That’s it for now. Jesus has been waiting for me to have tea with Him for the last 45 minutes. I appreciate His patience. We’re going to Starbucks, because no one ever recognizes Him there; in fact, He says, mostly nobody pays attention anywhere. We’ll be left alone.
–Kirsten A. Thorne, PhD