As I scroll through Facebook, I notice yet another paranormal investigator suffering through difficult circumstances; not in and of itself unusual, but the comments indicate concern that the nature of spiritual work elicits too much pain and creates the necessary conditions for tragedy. We always wonder: is what we do ripping apart our lives?
There is no way to prove causality here; I can only speculate based on my experience. As a group, we do seem to have more personal tragedy than your average folk. It comes in many forms, but often our ailments have a strong, psychological and emotional basis. This doesn’t surprise me, I suppose, because we are opening ourselves up to the invisible world, and we have no idea who or what inhabits that world. We probably ‘talk’ to many killers, rapists, sadists, psychos and demons on a regular basis without realizing it. Or, worse, we know we’re dealing with truly horrible entities, but we talk to them anyway, because, hey it’s fun . . . I guess??
I have long struggled with why we keep serving as mediums and channels for anyone who comes along, or for anyone who happens to be passing through, when would NEVER do that in our material life. Imagine heading off to ‘communicate’ with the worst criminals in a penitentiary–we don’t do that for obvious reasons, but it’s OK on an investigation because we think that the invisibility and subtle communications from the spirit world somehow mitigate the emotional damage that they could cause, but that really isn’t the case. The pain that they inflict on us–whether intentional or not–builds over time. It’s a slow accumulation of human (and sometimes non-human) misery that sticks to us like a draining and depressing residue. No wonder we get sick, both physically and emotionally.
I have limited my investigations drastically over the last few years. Now, I go mostly to be with the friends I have made; to be in their company makes me happy. So called “ghost hunting” does not really make me happy, ever since I realized that what we’re doing is as real as it gets. For a long time, the paranormal investigator isn’t really sure that this whole “spirit world” concept is genuine. So, we spend months or years attempting to convince ourselves that were not just playing around in the dark and scaring ourselves. It’s an adrenaline filled rush when you don’t really believe in ghosts but something weird is happening around you. It was much more fun when I wasn’t sure I was actually contacting anything; then, I had the excuse that I had to continue to compile evidence for the afterlife, so I needed to go out often and stay out late.
Now, of course, I have no such doubts and haven’t for a long, long time. It’s been three years since the investigation at the Episcopal Church that was so intense and provided so much evidence for the afterlife that I declared my need to compile evidence over. In the last three years, my main goal is to hang out with my favorite people. Sure, I do still get that thrill when someone seems to be making contact, when the Ghost Radio starts talking sense and the little, green dots populate my Ghost Radar Legacy and the words start showing a thematic relationship. I don’t like, however, the ghost bullies who trap others with them in their hell and scratch my friends (or me). I suppose I’ve learned to protect myself, and that has been a very valuable lesson indeed.
Those who stop investigating altogether are simply tired of exposing themselves to spiritual pain, or perhaps they can no longer protect themselves due to their own traumas. When your life seems to be spinning out of control, one has to wonder how the late night investigations in traumatized places might be contributing to the personal chaos. I completely understand why people walk away or take long breaks. I am not there yet, and I doubt I will ever completely give up such a fascinating and attractive quest. I am careful, though, much more careful than I am with the living. Speaking of which . . .
How DO I protect myself from the unpleasant and destructive people still inhabiting their bully-bodies??
So: answer me, please! Do you agree with what I’m saying here? Are you still compiling evidence? If so, why? What are you looking for? Please leave me some comments!
–Kirsten A. Thorne
Well, i am in the field of investigaron since 2010, i have seen, hear and feel so many things that prove me that there is something beyond this life.
It gets hard when family, friends, and business take your time away and it makes you to chose.
Is enough? What is the limit, after all the time you investigate, to find the truth or something that fills your doubs.
I found something, i found myself understanding, that what I do is not just for me, is for every family that needs help, for their fears, for the phenomena who cant be explained rtight now.
I hope, with all my heart, that all the investigators who read this article, understand what im saying.
Is hard for me to write properly in english, but I try,
I hope, no one leaves his truly interest about to find out more about the phenomena and help those families we get to know.
Hugs and blessings from Argentina.
Alejandro.
G.A.I.A.P. Paranormal
Alejandro,
Gracias por tu linda respuesta y no te preocupes de tu inglés; te salió muy bien. Como soy profesora de español, siempre me puedes escribir en español si te facilita la expresión de tus ideas. Estoy de acuerdo contigo; hay mucho que el investigador puede hacer para ayudar a las familias que están en crisis por algo que sienten en su casa; sólo quisiera afirmar la dificultad en la identificación y más que nada, la interpretación de la información que captamos. Un fallo de interpretación puede causarle a la familia dolor y miedo. Pero así y todo, podemos ser útiles intérpretes del otro mundo para los demás.
Un fuerte abrazo,
Kirsten
Kirsten – Of course I agree that there’s this discord that runs through paranormal pursuits. And, none of it is new. To examine this phenomena, no matter what sort of paranormal anomaly one studies – is to be put into a state of anti-structure.
Let’s put it this way: You can lay money on what surrounds paranormal experiences – and that is antistructure or ‘out of routine’ events. There’s also serious helpings of liminal states – the act of being in transition. Being between one thing or another. Like the classic story: a young couple buy an old fixer upper. Everything is great until they start to renovate. Then, haunting starts.
The common (and short-sighted conclusion) by mainstream paranormal ‘investigators’) is that the change has upset the ghosts who like the house as it is. Saying such a thing is to conclude that one knows what is in the mind and intention of the phenomena being perceived – and one doesn’t know jack, really, to be honest.
But what is consistent is the renovations to the house. It becomes a liminal place – it’s between what it is, and what it will be. It’s in a state of change, flux, and sometimes chaos. By virtue of their living quarters, so are the couple (new house, renovations, chaotic and out of routine lifestyle).
I don’t know what it means – I only know it consistently surrounds the eruptions of paranormal phenomena.
Antistructure, liminality, and marginality are also the reasons that no paranormal group stays together for very long. They last a short time, then fall apart. It’s so consistent you can almost predict it. Smaller knit groups seem to last longer.
The circumstances surrounding the phenomena are also the kiss of death for relationships – marriages, courtships, etc. Antistructure comes with the paranormal territory, and it’s very isolating at times, and so doesn’t bode well for relationships of any kind.
This is all par for the course. You study this stuff, and you become (like it or not) subjected to these currents of discord, limality, and antistructure. Again, I have not a clue why this is. But, once recognized, you come to expect it – and therefore can have a way to potentially work around it – or at least back off until you regain your focus. I liken paranormal research to sticking your head underwater to see what’s beneath the surface – but stay too long and you drown.
I’ve started a project to see if we can predict or visually see the phenomena respond to these surrounding components and it’s at https://www.gofundme.com/projectoculus should you like to check it out.
I wish you luck in traversing the landscape of the enigma,
Jeff
Jeff, what you say is fascinating and worth another blog post, if I have your permission to quote you. I will check out above link now!
Kirsten
I read your post with a great deal of interest and several things popped out for me. I can only speak to my experiences, and after a decade of serious investigations I am not at the place you are, I feel I’m getting a solid footing. I believe one difference is the reasons that I came to the field. I was looking to understand my own experiences, not for evidence or adreniln rushes. Through interviewing hundreds of people I have found a desire to understand personal experiences is the most common reason people get into this. Also I approached this determined to understand from the science perspective, which means through parapsychology, I find that most people who want to “ghost hunt” have no real foundation in science as it applies to understanding the unknown and to date unmeasurable with all apologies to the techies who think what they are doing is science, which they are not, after all using a microwave to heat your burrito doesn’t mean you understand the science behind the microwave; more to the point, they have no real understanding of what parapsychology offers. Some parapsychologists believe in “ghosts” and some don’t, although the term ghost is almost meaningless it has so many interpretations. Thirdly using practical protection techniques which work for both the living and discarnates is a helpful tool in putting things at a comfortable arms length, techniques that are easily learned with the proper foundation, education and training. But that again requires investing in one’s education, you know the boring stuff of reading and in the states mostly offered through distant classes i.e. The Rhine Center for example.
Sheila,
Agreed: most ‘ghost hunters’ ARE convinced that there is something scientific in their approach, when that is manifestly untrue. There is the INTENT to use a scientific approach, but no real education to back it up. I am not a scientist, so I approach the field as more of a personal journey, using my training in critical thinking and the humanities to understand and interpret my findings. I have, however, hit an interpretive ‘wall’, where the evidence has become oddly repetitive and meaningless, at least for me, and I just don’t know where to go from here. Maybe the Rhine Center!!
I am so saddened that I never get e-mails notifying me of blog posts from all my old blog buddies anymore. I’m not sure how to fix that, but thanks to the SPR sharing this on their Facebook page, I found my way back!
Once again, this is beautiful.
I quit investigating the paranormal, at least in the “ghost hunting” (ugh!) sense a few years ago. I quit for different reasons, though I find your thoughts fascinating! In my formal investigations, and in my EVP/Ouija/Spirit Box research that I carried out at home for a few years, I received SOME evidence of spirit communication and the afterlife, and that evidence alone made me get so serious and intense. One experiment or one investigation of a home would take me months to pour over. I’d drown in audio and video, declare something a “possible artifact”, only to go back and forth with doubt as I fight with my own skepticism. And for what? I keep telling myself that all those pages of reports and charts are there, and will be there for the future, if it’s ever needed.
Really though, it’s just the way I am. Now I pour myself into my podcast, which is my current baby (I birth a new one every couple of years), and I stress myself out on it as well.
I don’t think I will ever tire of the search for the paranormal and for contacting the dead, but my experiments have slowed down. Sooooo many hours and hours of finding maybe/maybe not evidence… and it sucks all of my energy.
For now, I just like talking to others about it. 🙂
PS – There was that one time though, where the cold hand grabbed me and shook me while I was lying in bed after an intense week of both a seance project and the investigation of a family residence. That’s the only time anything like that happened. Freaked me out.
Patrick! I have missed you! I no longer get notifications about your blog posts or any updates! There is so much I would love to talk to you about–I think you still have my phone number–call me and let’s see about finally doing that interview for your podcast!
Regards,
Kirsten
Hi Kirsten
I found your post extremely interesting and insightful.
I have had a fascination for the “unexplained” for as long as I can remember, and now I also have a facebook page called “the reluctant ghost hunter” – which is obviously self explanatory!
I have no interest whatsoever in conducting or being a part of séances or table tipping and the like, it’s just not for me. And this obviously precludes me from the majority of organized ghost evenings, which is incredibly disappointing, as I would love to discover more. But due to the same reasons you describe in your post I feel a very strong need to protect myself, physically, emotionally and spiritually from things we do not understand.
I therefore carry out my own style of “investigation” which I am sure to most ghost hunters is not really an investigation at all! But that’s ok, I enjoy myself! And I am discovering both beautiful and spiritual places, more often than not at the same time.
If the opportunity presents itself it would be wonderful to catch something on camera, but if not then it’s not meant to be. I’m certainly not going to try and “force” anything to appear – I’m far too reluctant for that!
Best wishes and warm regards
Joanna Cowell aka the reluctant ghost hunter
Dear Joanna,
I think you’re onto something here. More of us need to be reluctant, or at least more circumspect when it comes to contacting the spirit world. The lack of serious thought regarding the consequences of what we do is troubling. There does not exist one, specific protocol for paranormal research (research into the paranormal, better said), unless you are adopting a purely scientific approach. For most of us, the best approach is a muti-pronged one, where our innate talents and skills are put to good use. Some of my most evidential investigations happened either alone or with one or two other people, in a meditative state of ‘tuning in’.
Thank you so much for reading and responding–I hope to hear from you again!
Kirsten
It’s draining, especially when they extended to you.
Hi have been a Paranormal Investigator & Field Researcher into the Paranormal for around 20 years & i join a well none & highly respected Paranormal Society 12 years ago.
I must admit i have had my share of lost & heart break in this time losing my brother, mum ,dad within 16 months & my fair share of relationship break downs in this 20 years.
But i have had some very happy times also I met my now wife & we got married 2 years ago & have been percent at a number of dear members wedding.
I’m not 100% convinced that it has had everything to do with what i do.
As hard as it is for me to say I think its just life….
But i know 100% that without the support of the people in my Society I would have (quite) we are a very close nit bunch of people.
I could not imagine not doing what I love & i made up my mind I am no quitter!
Sometimes Life just wants to smack you around a little I guess some people get a ruff time like myself but as i look at time I still have what is left of my family my kids & my dear & loyal Society friends.
Even though I have been doing this for 20 plus now I still have so much to find & learn I cant stop now….because you never know what is around that next dark corner
Phil M
Thank you for writing, Phil, and I agree; it really IS too important of a quest to give up, and yes, life certainly does smack one around sometimes. I wonder at the effect on our rather small group of die-hard investigators here in So Cal of all the negative interactions we’ve endured at certain sites where we all seem to return. It just seems that our collective tragedies are somehow tied to the emotional and spiritual drain we experience so often; but again, I don’t know and can only wonder.
Thank you so much for writing!
Kirsten
Hi there. Im Karen Thurlow and I am part of Canyon State Paranormal Investigators. We’ve been investigators for the past 10 years. We’ve never really had anything bad really happen to us until last year. I dropped dead. Cold. And in that moment of death I saw someone. I don’t know who or why. But the image will be with me forever. And will also act as proof for me that there is another side.
Karen, thank you for writing–and I have a lot of questions for you! Maybe send me a private message to kirstenthorne@gmail.com? How did you ‘die’? What made you think you had briefly died instead of lost consciousness? I am very curious to know more. If, of course, it’s not too personal to share.
Thank you again,
Kirsten
Hi Kerstin. All i can tell you is that I was sitting on my couch when I went into sudden cardiac arrest. My heart just stopped. No warning. The way my house is laid out, it has an open landing that looks down into my living room where I was. My husband says I just said help me and I went down. He called 911. I was flat line. They zapped me 5 times. Fortunately the ER knew me and got me going again. I dont have any memory of any of this except one thing. A man with a beard standing on my landing looking at me. Clear as a bell. I kept thinking it was my son but he lives in California. So I know there is something more out there.
Amazing and life-altering incident; so strange that our culture doesn’t honor these experiences for what they truly are: glimpses into the next world, previews of our next life. It should change everything.
Hi, I would like to know how do you protect yourself? I am very interested in finding ways in which I can protect myself and my family.
Yours in health
Sindy Wilké
Hi Sindy,
I pray specifically to the Holy Spirit or Holy Ghost to protect me from any energies/souls/spirits with ill intent. I ask for only the souls in God’s light and with the blessing of God to communicate with me for my further understanding of the invisible world. One does not need to be Christian to ask for and receive protection; but one must believe in the Divine and the existence of God (however one conceives of God) in order to be truly safe in the paranormal.
I have spent over 10 years and hundreds of locations, the groups end up paranoid and so i travel around when called upon.it was an amazing learning experience to understand the negative world and improve my mediumship but also at a cost of major upheavel to all who are still haunted by the worst voice caught on film..the pembroke voice. They haunt me in my dreams, part of the job when you do alot of rescue work and cleansing of lost souls trapped by these entities. Protection should be taught to groups and dealing with attachments, because alot are easy targets. Good or bad, an experience that had made me look for the oneness and when return i do find it a little harder to let go of the negativity when spending more time in the light but unconditiional love will always prevail….
Yes i can relate to all of this ! With much more after my life was turned upside down !
Sounds like you guys need to be grounding yourselves first, before even going into any investigation. ❤
I find that the more I investigate, the more dark entities seem to follow me home! Then I have to do a cleansing to get rid of them, and I take a break from this stuff because I do not want them in my family’s’ home. This happens over and over. I’m not sure what I’m doing that attracts them, but it is a big pain in the rear and wastes time. I want to leave “work” at work!
Yes–be very careful. Make sure to follow a disciplined, spiritual practice. It doesn’t matter which religion, but I find that those who do not take time to pray, meditate or attend spiritual gatherings/meetings find themselves at risk.
[…] Why Paranormal Investigators Quit – Kirsten A. Thorne, Professor Paranormal / The Soul Bank: Stories, Research, Essays, (B)Logs A Place for Stories of the Spirit and Research into the Survival of Consciousness […]
I can relate to this, having been ghost hunting for 10 years now, it’s not just the investigations that take their toll on you but also the driving long distances and the added stress of lugging all that equipment around, my health has suffered a great deal.
As a paranormal investigator I’ve seen and heard things for myself, I set out to actually disprove “EVPS” but since capturing these weird voices for myself I sort of developed from there X
I had a hard time believing that EVP actually existed, until I too discovered them for myself. After that, it’s hard to deny that something very strange is going on.
My thoughts exactly, it’s even weirder when they answer your questions
beside EVP’s have you ever experienced anything else during investigations?
If I may be so bold as to call you Kirsten right off the bat, you have a lot of it right. Everyone has so many reasons to why they do it. I did it as ‘fun in the beginning because as a child I always felt something around me. As I got older I still felt there was something, pulling my hands and feet into the covers so nothing could touch me, always needing the radio or TV on so I couldn’t hear voices or a ‘wind’ sound in my ears.
I would talk to them and yell, call them ‘ghost bastards’ tell them to leave me alone, I still do. I did lame investigations without a camera when I was in my teens with those cheap tape recorders, and this is back in the late 70’s early 80’s, but the quality of my Radio Shack items were so atrocious, there was no use. It wasn’t until I met my ex-investigator, ex-friend that we started to buy the basic equipment and do serious investigating. That was 10 wonderful years ago.
We got some excellent pictures and EVPS, I mean Class A vocals and explainable sounds, telling us to ‘quiet’, ‘hello’, ‘Ga Veh’ which is Dutch for ‘Go Away’ and that was said at 5 different locations with the same voice. Which means we were being followed by the same entity. We were answered by ‘Heavenly Beings’ after we did a saging ceremony, but like you say, are we really being answered by the real one?
At one location I provoked a demon and got my comeuppance in a bad way, Karen got a picture of 10 orbs going into the back of my head and for 2 years I was in deep depression and was not in the right way of things. Odd occurrences happened more at my home and then 2 years later we did an investigation when I was completely vulnerable I was attacked by such a cold spot, she felt it too, then there was a mist that she couldn’t see, but I could and with my flashlight, it was like being in fog with high beams and she couldn’t see it. We have this on my voice recorder and on our cameras.
I got invaded and it was the most intense feeling of sadness and fear I ever felt. I was crying for no reason. Karen started in with The Lord’s Prayer and other Prayers. She is Catholic and went with so many to get what had invaded me out. I was more intrigued and tried to keep my composure. She took a picture from behind me and you can see multiple orbs emanating from my back, especially a red one and this super bright white one. Lol, she didn’t want to show me the picture at first. After that we went home, I was physically and mentally drained for 3 days, but I did go out the next night to confront that entity alone, but it did not show up.
To answer your question, you can’t really make it short. Everyone has their own story if they have been in that situation. You know as well as I it’s a dangerous thing to mess with, it messes with your mind and body. I am going out tonight alone to 3 cemeteries as it is because of the super moon to get the headstones in the moonlight and get some EVP’s. I used to think it was fun but now I have real deep respect for it. I was seeking answers for the afterlife because I needed answers. Many see these shows on TV and sometimes get a laugh and get a rush from it, I personally like it when they do some history on the property or the people.
I’m sorry this went so long Kirsten but for the people who read these, be prepared to test your soul, you can bring things home with you, it’s a dangerous field. Even better think of the cost of the equipment, I have spent over 2000 US and it’s not even great stuff. The most expensive was my thermal imager the Seek for 350.00. I love it. Doesn’t do vid, but when you know how to put a small vid cam on top it works fine, lol. I have so much evidence I had to buy a second voice recorder because I was hearing voices even more subtler when I focused. So now I have to go back and re-listen to over 8 years of EVP’s.
Kirsten, I would have to answer you on a more personal level to say exactly why I do this, a less public forum is needed. I have heard the entities be kind, mean, funny, make goofy noises and they are all ages. So far I have heard answers in 3 languages, but mostly I have heard English. I thank you for letting me answer you.
I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY ABOUT WHAT YOU WROTE. This is why it has taken me so long. I’ve been pondering your words for too long now. I will write back today, because I’m finally ready to do so, but please know that I did read what you wrote and have been thinking about it in depth. More to come . . .
I am so sorry I did not introduce myself at first or even sign it, how rude of me. My name is Rebecca.
Kirsten, this was a fascinating read for me. I’m at the complete other end of the investigating timeline where I only have a few investigations under my belt so to speak.
My reason for investigating is purely to get answers and what is waiting when I pass on from this life (if anything at all). Caged by fear of both finding nothing and finding too much I had put off the idea for years. I’ve been ‘lucky’ in my investigations so far as to only find whispers on evps or the odd syllable come through a spirit box where I still question if it really was anything paranormal or just a radio station coming through.
I remain intrigued by what is really out there. Not just the spirit side of it but what else could be there in the darkness that remains unexplained. Could it just be demons playing with our minds, are there really children stuck here that for some sad reason can’t move on. I guess what I’m trying to say is I want to investigate to find my own truths. See if my own theories could be correct. But also to share that with like minded people. Thank you for this insight on how it can affect people who have been a part of this ‘trade’ for some time. I look forward to reading some more of your blogs.
P_H
Kirsten, I just came across your article which i found fascinating. You say you have no doubt in the after life… are you talking Heaven and He’ll or did you find that there is another dimention? What have been your observations?
Oh, it’s going to take me awhile to explain my new view on life and death. Basically, it’s all about different levels of consciousness where time and space are meaningless concepts. I will write the next post on this topic, in honor of your question.
Honestly if you are investigating these things which are normally Demonic you open a doorway in for them YOU then become the doorway it’s so easy to open that door,but never easy to close,if you have a fascination for this type of work then you are already under demonic influence! Pray daily don’t invite these unearthly unhealthy evil spirits in ..or you WILL BE SORRY.maria
Hi Maris,
I understand your point of view. I do not share it, however.
I also do paranormal investigation and am very worried about protecting my self . I have access to a very active places and exposed myself to some things I yet can’t explain. I got into this to help a friend with camera work and have started to feel and see things . We have a medium that sometimes works with us .the house felt safe like all the entities were not harmful but when she came in to do a walk through she immediately felt the entities were evil and fooling us .my friend does not seem to notice this or doesn’t care . I would like to continue investing but I don’t understand how to protect myself . Do you have any advice for me .
Thanks mike
Yes. Mike–take a break from investigating for awhile and work on strengthening your own spiritual practice, whatever that is. If you attend a church but aren’t feeling God, then talk to your pastor or minister. Whatever your religion may be, start praying and working on your connection to the Source. If you have no spiritual practice, you NEED one if you plan to continue investigating. Make sure you know WHY you are investigating that house: what is your purpose? Goal? Are you there to help or get an adrenaline rush every time there’s a tap on a wall? Be honest with yourself. Meditate daily for at least 20 minutes. Pray to the God of your choosing before and after every investigation. Ask for protection from the angels, like I do: Gabriel above, Rafael to my right, Michael to my left, Uriel at my feet. Envision a golden, protective sphere of light surrounding you and those who are with you. Burn Palo Santo before and after the investigations. Don’t believe the medium’s interpretation of spirits’ nature or intention if it doesn’t make sense to you or contradicts your instincts. Trust yourself and your intuition. Always, always, always, ask for protection and guidance from a Higher Power. Get your spiritual life in order before you expose yourself to forces you don’t understand and are not currently protected from. Every investigation should come from a place of love and compassion for the souls that might be suffering there. Make your intentions holy and pure.
Good luck and be careful. Write anytime with questions, and I will be happy to answer them.
Sincerely,
Kirsten