I am completely exhausted and overwhelmed. While Trump and Clinton battle it out, it feels like my immortal soul is crying. I am terrified that a man like Trump might be my president. I wonder how to escape the country if he wins. Where would I go? I just bought a house, for Lord’s sake. Trump’s side feels the same way about Clinton. Other thoughts: Administrators don’t like me. I always end up on the wrong side of politics. Always. I take everything too seriously and end up confused and lost. Why are things this way? I even wonder about Jan Crouch, the televangelist you see next to me. She has pink hair, crazy eyelashes and cries a lot about Jesus. Does pink make you more holy as a woman? I wonder. My pink lips are meant to honor Jan Crouch and her hyper feminized version of Christian womanhood. Sometimes, I just want to go pink and cry over Jesus and let everything else disappear. My life would be easier.
Forget Trump. Forget politics. Forget the thousands of tiny miseries piercing my heart. I just want to love Jesus and radiate pink. It seems simpler, easier to understand, clearer and somehow, purer than everything else swirling about me in the abyss that is the election. I sense, however, that Jesus doesn’t want me to be simple, radiate pink and cry over him. I think He wants me to fight like hell until I create the country I want to live in. But I’m so tired. So tired. It doesn’t matter–I have to haul myself out of bed and head back to the trenches, because that what true spirituality is: the fight of your life, every day.
Blessing to all of you.
Kirsten
The Soul Bank: Stories, Research, Essays, (B)Logs 