Soulbank.org’s first personal story is from an author who prefers to remain anonymous. I have a personal connection to this story, since the person who took her life was a close friend to many important people I know today. She made a huge impact on those who knew her, and I am honored to be able to share this post with you.
Several years ago I was at a friend’s house, in the West San Fernando Valley, for a fourth of July get together. It was a small, sober gathering of several close friends. One was sadly missing as her mother and stepfather hauled her off to Reno that holiday (or boyfriend; I never got that story straight.) Anyhoo… I’m at the party and I see our friend (who was supposed to be in Reno) walk through the house. Plain as day. I told a few people that I had just saw her walk down into the living room and I was a little freaked out. Not as freaked out as I was the next day. I received a phone call, from her roommate at the time, letting me know our friend had decided to take her own life while in Reno. She died the night I saw her in the house. A good friend who was there at the party reminded me of this event recently. I had recently disclosed that I am a paranormal investigator, and he just wanted to remind me that my paranormal experiences were nothing new. I had forgotten about the incident.
Our friend had a tough life. She was, as I look back, suffering from several issues including depression. Her choice sent me into a depression that took almost a decade to overcome. In that time, I too sank deeper and deeper into a serious depression that I was afraid I could not recover from. Each time I thought I was at the end something odd would happen. I would run into our friend’s little brother. I’m not talking sometimes when I felt really low, I’m talking every time. At the lowest points in my life he would pop up. Finally in 2000 I was able to sit down and talk to him about his sister and her final moments. For years I somehow had found comfort in the fact she had the courage to make the ultimate decision. What I learned from her brother was she regretted her decision. She actually said she had made a mistake. By the time she had come to that realization, it was too late.
I think she wanted me to know that if I ever considered taking my own life, I’d be making the wrong decision. I have not seen or heard from him since. I feel her job was completed through him.
The Soul Bank: Stories, Research, Essays, (B)Logs 
I think of her often as well. Thank you for sharing your story. It makes me happy to know that she came to the 4th. of July party after all.
Hi – I’m very interested in NDE and the survival of conscionceness, along with mediums/psychics – I feel some are genuine and some aren’t. I’ve have strange experiences before but not like this one. First I should explain that my dad is ill with Alzheimer’s. He was only 72 when diagonsed and that was 5 – 6 years ago. Since he was struck with this horrific disease, I have been more interested in life after death knowing that AD will eventually take his life. My family is very close and although my dad is now 77, it’s hard to see his mind going away when he’s in great physical shape and probably would have had a great life in his elder years.
A little over a year ago, March of 2010, is when my experience happened. About a year before, February of 2009, a television showed aired about children with gifts… psychic, mediumship, etc. A fairly well known medium, Debra Martin, was on the show as 2 of her children have ‘the gift’
I watched it and it sparked my interest. When I had some time, I googled Debra Martin and found her website. I noticed she does readings over the phone and thought it might be interesting. I had to fill out a form with my name, email address, telephone number and then submit. I also immediately got a reply from the website stating that it was $350.00 for a reading. I thought this was high and was not interested in pursuing it further. I never replied to schedule a reading nor did I have any further contact with Debra Martin or her website… other than blocking the ocassional emails I would get telling me of group readings in Arizona. A little more than a year had passed and I hadn’t thought much about Debra Martin, if at all.
It was a Sunday afternoon in March of 2010 when we stopped in to see my parents. My dad was not having a good day. Although he is/was still mobile, he was really upset that day for some reason. He was almost ‘out of it’ He kept squinting his eyes as to clear his vision and kept on saying something was not right. I walked him to his chair and his eyes filled with tears. I had never seen my dad cry and this upset me. I explained to him that I think he was tired and needed to take a shower and get to bed early. It was a lot more drawn out this my small explanation but I just wanted to give an idea of what was going on.
After my mom helped him with his shower, he seemed a little better. We left after an hour or so. That night, I was so upset. I thought for sure it was the beginning of the end of my dad’s life here. I remember taking a shower and crying and praying hard for my dad. I asked over and over that my grandparents (my dad’s parents) were there to meet him if passed on.
The next day in the afternoon, my telephone rang. On caller ID it said Debra Martin. I immediately knew who it was because I remembered she was a medium. I thought, well – maybe she’s calling to see if I’m still interested in a reading but it had been 1 year! I let the answering machine pick up. A couple of minutes later, the same number with Debra Martin on caller Id called back so I answered. She explained that she was going through her index cards of people who had inquired about a reading over the past year and she said kept going back to my name.. she was stuck on my name. She went on to tell me she had a message for me. I replied right away that I didn’t have an extra $350 for a reading right then. I’m ashamed now to say I thought that’s were the call was going. She told me not to worry about that, she had to give me this message. She went on to say she had a female energy who wanted me to know this. She said a name, which was similar to my dad’s mom. Anyway, she went on to tell me that the message was “She will be there for him.” A female energy, with a name like my paternal grandmother, wanted me to know SHE WOULD BE THERE FOR HIM. Debra never did say be there for my dad but I knew exactly what the message meant! I had just prayed my heart a the night before that I would know, some how, some way, the my dad’s parents would be there for him when he crossed over to the other side! I was stunned! I started crying, I had chills, I couldn’t believe what she just told me! Debra then asked me if I knew what this meant, etc. I explained everything to her that about my dad and what had transpired the day before. She told me she thought my dad may have had a visitation or had seen someone who has passed on and that’s was part of the reason for the way he was acting. He couldn’t understand it or explain it. She also told me she didn’t feel like it was my dad’s time ( it wasn’t. Thankfully my dad is still here.) She also told me that when he became bedridden and no longer recognized us, his spirit would have already left his body and he would be on the other side. She was very kind. Told me if I ever needed her, she would be there. Never once asked for the $350 or any money. It’s been a little over a year and I’ve never heard from her again.
I believe, no… I know life after death is real! There’s no way this woman would have called me after one year, to tell me she had to give me a message – and it’s exactly what I asked for!!! Also, my grandmother died in 1978.
Sorry to ramble but this is so amazing, I love to share it!
Hi Nicola,
I am so sorry it took so long for me to respond. I had been thinking about this story ever since I received it. It’s amazing, but not suprising. First of all, I want to say how sorry I am about your father’s AD. My maternal grandmother died from it, but it took a long time and we went through a great deal of heartache before she passed. My parents are both 71 now, and I’m terrified that they might start showing signs of it, as well. So far, I think they are both OK, but there are days when I’m not so sure. I do think that the spirit of someone with Alzheimer’s leaves the body at some point before death. I remember looking at my grandmother and realizing that she was no longer the person I knew, and I wondered where she “really” was. Now I know, after so much reading and research, that she truly was somewhere else. The sad thing for us was having to take care of someone who was essentially “new” to us, someone else. My theory now is that her spirit didn’t leave permanently while she was still alive; it occasionally went “on vacation”, only to return for brief periods. There were times when Grandma Joe was perfectly lucid, as if suddenly her spirit was returned to her; and then it would leave again. We learned to accept and understand her cycles of presence and absence, and we even learned to love the person she was when her spirit was off wandering. She was like a child then, pointing out signs and giggling like a two year old. I absolutely believe in the validity of what you experienced with Debra Martin. I think you can relax knowing that your father will be well taken care of, as I believe all of us will. In the meantime, maybe there is a way to find meaning in your father’s affliction, a way to appreciate the person he will become–once I realized that Grandma Joe was actually not unhappy, I was able to stop feeling so upset and angry that she wasn’t the person I needed her to be. If that makes sense.
thupancic – Thanks for your response. Your last statement is right on… my dad is happy, most of the time, and seeing him that way does make this horrible disease a little easier to tolerate.