Demonic Spirits and Narcissism

Are there demonic spirits involved in tempting the narcissist in your life to destroy you? At first glance, it seems ridiculous, and such an idea requires the belief that demonic spirits exist in the first place. If you peruse the Internet for the connection between evil entities and narcissism, you will find plenty of Christians who advocate for the idea that narcissism is a personality disorder that is a consequence of evil finding ripe opportunities for oppression or possession in those who are running from a chronic feeling of shame and self doubt.

Before we begin a deep dive into this connection, let’s take a look at the dominant characteristics of narcissistic people, whether they have some of the following characteristics or they struggle with a full-blown case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (from the Mayo Clinic):

Symptoms

Symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder and how severe they are can vary. People with the disorder can:

• Have an unreasonably high sense of self-importance and require constant, excessive admiration.
• Feel that they deserve privileges and special treatment.
• Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements.
• Make achievements and talents seem bigger than they are.
• Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate.
• Believe they are superior to others and can only spend time with or be understood by equally special people.
• Be critical of and look down on people they feel are not important.
• Expect special favors and expect other people to do what they want without questioning them.
• Take advantage of others to get what they want.
• Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others.
• Be envious of others and believe others envy them.
• Behave in an arrogant way, brag a lot and come across as conceited.
• Insist on having the best of everything — for instance, the best car or office.

At the same time, people with narcissistic personality disorder have trouble handling anything they view as criticism. They can:

• Become impatient or angry when they don’t receive special recognition or treatment.
• Have major problems interacting with others and easily feel slighted.
• React with rage or contempt and try to belittle other people to make themselves appear superior.
• Have difficulty managing their emotions and behavior.
• Experience major problems dealing with stress and adapting to change.
• Withdraw from or avoid situations in which they might fail.
• Feel depressed and moody because they fall short of perfection
• Have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, humiliation and fear of being exposed as a failure.

Looking at this list, it’s clear that Satan was the original narcissist, given his envy of God and his lust for power and control. However, the connection to the demonic is even more clear when you consider the EFFECT of narcissists and narcissistic behaviors on someone who is vulnerable to them: typically highly compassionate, empathetic, folks who are often helpers and healers in the world and just want everyone to be happy. The victims of the narcissist can be turned into codependent shadows of themselves as they fruitlessly try to “save” the narcissist from themselves, or please and love them in the vain hope of convincing them that they (the victims) are worthy of kind and loving treatment.

I have decided to write my own list of the effects of narcissists, since during my life I have fallen victim to quite a few. I am not blameless nor was I ever entirely free of narcissistic behaviors myself, but I can say with confidence that I was manipulated, abused, and gaslighted to such an extent, that I have become an expert on narcissistic abuse.

• Feelings of despair, depression, and fear that seem to come “out of nowhere”;
• Questioning my reality and what is “normal”;
• Criticizing myself, judging myself harshly, holding myself to unrealistic standards;
• Self hatred: not thin, pretty, successful enough; perfectionism;
• Frantically trying to get the narcissist to pay attention to me; to call or text more often, to see me, or to make more of a commitment; feeling that I have done something wrong, yet not able to pinpoint what that might be;
• Emotionally confused, numb, feeling that something is “off” or “wrong”, especially as concerns the narcissist, yet not ever receiving a straight answer or reason for ignoring or abusive behavior;
• Loss of meaning and faith that everything is alright, that I am safe, and that the Universe is essentially good and working in my favor.

I could go on and on in terms of effects, but you can see by looking at this list that the Devil and his minions are all about inflicting narcissistic abuse. The more chaos, confusion, uncertainty, and self-hatred that they can inflict, the better, for the goal of the “demonic” (whether or not you believe in literal demons) is to break down one’s sense of self and one’s faith in a higher power. You also learn not to trust yourself and to always focus on what someone else might want or need from you, neglecting your own personal and spiritual development in favor of trying to figure out the narcissist. Anxiety and depression ensue, draining your energy for creating a positive and profound connection to others and one’s environment and community.

If you’re a fan of the “ghost shows”, the demonic shows up constantly. Zak Bagans is frequently “oppressed” or affected by such entities, and regardless whether or not you believe that this is “real” or just for entertainment purposes (and there is probably a bit of a mix going on, where some scenes of influence quite authentic and others exaggerated for effect), but the effect on him is rage, a desire to punish or inflict violence on his costars, a need to control where they go and what they do, coupled with loss of control over himself and his emotions. While Zak can “come back to himself”, almost certainly his thousands of hours of investigation into traumatized buildings and people has affected him in precisely the manner a demonic entity would wish. It’s up to you to decide if he became a narcissist, a victim, or some combination of both.

In the world of the paranormal, the whole subject of demonic activity is highly and hotly debated and contested. While it’s easy to fake a possession, (and this happened with a tour guide who made quite a display of her demonic influence, only to shake it off when we weren’t looking) you can’t fake the effects of narcissistic abuse. If there are demons that influence people to follow the tortured path of narcissism, then it’s a rather brilliant way to accomplish their goals: the destruction of one’s soul. The narcissist and their victims both lose themselves to their coping mechanisms: the narcissist manages toxic shame via control and manipulation of others, and the victim manages her confusion and fear by erasing herself, by disappearing. In both cases, the people involved lose any sense of their true identity, purpose, and faith. More souls for Satan. Or, if you prefer, more mental illness, addiction, homelessness, and despair. If narcissists are running our world (and there is plenty of evidence that this is the case), then there would be no concern for the victims of their malignant power plays, only the endless pursuit of their narcissistic supply and grandiose fantasies.

I would love to end with some pity advice on how to protect yourself and rebuild a shattered ego, but that requires another blog entry. All I can say in closing is that you must find a way back to what you love, what might have sparked your passions long ago, and you must, above all, tell the truth: not just about what you observe around you, but about yourself and the damage you are repairing on your way back to the God of your understanding. For the Devil of your understanding wants you to give up, to despair, to give in and let the narcissists win. Do not let that happen, even if you lose people along the way. Better to be alone with God than surrounded by demons in human form.

–Kirsten A. Thorne, PhD

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